WoodWork Orange

After 8 months in my new flat I decided to look under my bed.

Not only did I find the solution to the credit crunch (or at least my credit crunch), but an unbelievable amount of socks and feathers.

I have no feathered friends to date – my only assumption is that they were planted under my bed to enrage my allergies – I’m onto you William!

Aversion to study is the cleanest time of the year.

Clean-a-leane.

Friday’s Shoes

They sit there patiently, watching me study, waiting for the weekend. It’s not long to go now my friends, not long at all.

Procrastination

When study gets a bit dull, the outside becomes increasingly more interesting.

Ssshhhhhh!

Study is becoming fairly difficult these days, it’s mostly the Internet and GTA’s fault.

I knew I was doomed when I started cleaning my already clean (not too sticky) bedroom floor.

I needed a change of scenery, there was only one place in walking distance where I could read, sit and think – my local bibliothèque. Perfect, I would be able to touch the Internet and probably not start to clean their toilets.

I chose my seat carefully – ensuring I was as far away as possible from the graphic novels and children’s books. I found the perfect spot between religion and foreign language books.

As soon as I sat down to ponder some mathematical monstrosity – a baby began to wail. Why would a baby be in a library, correct me if I’m wrong, but they can’t even talk let alone read. This went on for roughly too long. I was able to find some solace in a fellow studier, I looked over shook my head, tutted and finished it off with a shrug of the shoulders (she smiled, but didn’t go to as much effort as me to show disappointment in surrounding noise).

So much for no distractions!

I attempted to drown out the howls of the youth with Sigur Ros, which actually worked quite well, after a few minutes the screams in the background mixed in with the music perfectly.

My second distraction (which came a few hours later) was hunger, this could only be beaten by teaming up with Greggs. I thought this may have been easy enough, but for some reason the Greggette in the bakery was screaming about how important she was to the company, how it will crumble when she goes on holiday. The only thing that crumbled was my sausage roll, wonderful, distraction overcome.

I returned to the library to find an elderly lady (we’ll call her Agnus) in my chair, I was feeling generous, so I let her have it. I had to sit in a different chair at the other side of the table, which was never going to be quite the same. I was used to my old spot, I knew all the books that were directly in front of me, I didn’t have the time to acclimatise to a whole new viewpoint (approximately 19 minutes study time was lost for this reason when I started today).

About one hour into my study, I would become distracted one more time, who would have thought the source would be Agnus?

She started asking another lady what forms she was filling in. Agnus was soon told that it was none of her business, which immediately made it my business. I turned down my Ipod to enable better listening. Agnus continued her attempts to get an answers regarding the form, which resulted in the other lady walking out of our study group.

I thought this would be the end of my distraction, until Agnus started tapping her glasses on the table to get my attention.

Agnus: You and me have much more in common.

WithWood: (Tilts head to one side) Why’s that?

Agnus: She came over to our country and got everything she needed, I don’t even have a gas cooker, I need a gas cooker.

WithWood: Ah.

Agnus: It’s not her real hair you know! A wig, I don’t have a wig.

WithWood: Ok.

Agnus: Those people, coming here, it’s not right, not right at all.

WithWood: Hmmmm (puts headphones on and listens to Bloc Party).

Agnus clearly thought she had found a fellow racist to confide in, perhaps I should have disagreed with her, but in a sense I didn’t.

I need a gas cooker too, the electric ones are rubbish. The hobs take ages to heat up and I don’t have time to spare these days. I disagree with most of her other points, maybe not the wig story, but that was none of my business.

So was it a success?

Perhaps.

I would say I learned a lot more today than my current method of using my textbook as a pillow in the hope of learning through osmosis.

I also found that no matter how old you are, you will always annoy me at some point, be it through crying or casual racism (something the Internet and GTA could never do).