Waters of Grief

My walk to work is often fairly rushed and my focus is mostly a forward one with no time to take into account any potential floorward obstacles. This has recently become more difficult and has spurred me on to start blogging off again, for more information, please read on:

I’m considering taking the route against the roads rather than river due to the exponentially increasing amount of pavement pitfalls. Dog toffee is on the up, you’ll need to keep your eyes to the ground and adopt some fancy footwork to ensure shoes remain as shiny as the day they were born.

Leith has always had a dog refuse problem (as mentioned in almost every post I blogged off), which is down mostly to the following:

1. Dogs being taken on ‘walks’
2. Poor parental advice to dog owners
3. People’s inherent dislike to scraping up dog faeces and storing it in their handbag/knapsack
4. Few ‘no fouling’ signs or dog toffee bins
5. Lazy and uncouth individuals running amuck

To make matters worse, Autumn and Winter are upon us (technically the same season now in Scotland due to an out of control marketing campaign) . As you all know, changes in season result in new trends all round, not to be left out the trees of Leith have adopted a whole new style and are now sporting a far more clean cut look.

You would be surprised by how similar doggy dumps and dead leaves can look, uncanny-resemblance is a phrase that springs to mind.

So picture this, you’re meandering to work in the style of Speedy Gonzales, dodging leaves and excrement as if you are playing a more dangerous version of minesweeper whilst being unable to admire the great bunch of swans creating a visual masterpiece to your left. It’s bad enough at this level, but sometimes it’s cranked up a notch, you’ll have cyclists approaching from all angles and real live dogs creating said disasters right in front of you.

This is where I slow down and step in.

I always vowed to capture the criminals in the act and today I did.

It’s blurry due to the slight jog I had to develop to catch up, this resulted in the culprit slowing down to allow me to pass by and a smudged photograph. It’s only fair that the dog is blurred out, after all, he/she is likely to be a minor in human years, I’ll need to create a photofit of the lady based entirely on assumptions (Leith’s most wanted to be created in due course).

So, do you recognise this girl? She carries an inherent disregard for footpaths/footwear and walks in a fairly common manner (forwards).

As of yet, there is no hotline to call, but there will be, I’m going to clean up Leith one dog-owner at a time.

I will shortly be writing to my local councillor to see what can be done and will attempt to get the backing of http://www.greenerleith.org/

T-shirts will shortly be available with the slogan:

“No fucking faecal footpaths (at all)!”

I can, and will, capture more canine criminals in the upcoming months, I urge you to do the same (please submit them to the usual address in the contacts section).

On a side note, you may (or may not) wonder where I have been for the past few months. The answers will be presented to you via the art of the blog over the next 5 years, yes that’s right, withwood is now part of my 5 year plan.

Over and out, for now.

This blog was brought to you by the album Intimacy (Bloc Party) and the number 26.

Still Nothing to Say

I’m not one for babbling on without good cause (on-line) so would prefer to blog nothing at all rather than recite pathetic anecdotes about new socks – which also come in black by the way, oh boy!

I wouldn’t want to stop WithWood though, I really enjoy blogging one off now and again and like to read through my past ‘adventures’. The blog will eventually become something for the family to look over when I’m older and no doubt provide inspiration for a major movie – you know for kids!

The main reason my blog dried up was that I combined the pressures of full time employment with home study and Leith only had a limited supply of small shops/parks/dog toffees and dead animals to review.

To pass some time and keep the site active I’ll just post some photos accompanied by a few words – much like the other project I soon became tired of, I love fads and crazes, no doubt I’ll take up leather-craft and pocket-watch repair soon.

The first of my pieces was inspired by the first thing I saw and the last thing I smelt.

Nothing to Say

Not blogged anything off for so long, I’ve been too busy you see and had very little to say.

I still have very little to report back on, expect for one new development…

My socks look like my shoes!!!

Happy new year!

What Credit Crunch?

Time to get topical…

Tried to get new credit card.

Got one.

Easy.

I see no trouble ahead.

I urge you all to invest in credit cards, my financial advice is nothing but sound, get at least three.

Once you do, buy the following albums:

Van She – V

Ladyhawke – Ladyhawke

Get Sky (we can all be rich)

Say we are friends to Sky (which we are) subscribe, we both get £50.

Repeat this process with everybody in the world.

I won’t go hungry ever again.

Deal?

Too Much to Update…

I haven’t done anything on here for ages, but looking through my phone and camera I realise that I have done lots and lots and lots (in real life).

Too much to blog?

Possibly.

So, a resolution, can there be one? How on Earth do I get around such a large amount of information without overloading the viewers/readers/lookers?

How do I sensibly relay this data?

Back-to-Front seems the only logical step…

Last:

Dinner, late but well deserved:

Chicken WithOutWood, mysterious and possibly undercooked. If I could upload the smell there is no chance your harddrive could store it.

Less Recently:

I have recently kept my eyes on Pigeon, always one to support the working class of every race I took this nestling in-(on camera)-to my life.

Using a Light as a nest, such resourcefulness, the structure is already in place – just add leaves and feathers.

Yes, the baby bird is somewhat out of shot, but the father/mother bird flew at me with such force that I ran (stepped back quickly).

Ever since this day I have visited to see how the BabyBird has grown. Quickly , would be my response, but words cannot show how quickly (nor can a three week old photo).

BabyBird:

Not found… It is on my computer, but I ‘cannae’ find it, as soon as I do I’ll put it on-the-line.

(this will possibly never come)

The Waters of Leith…

…can only ever look clean in the shade, but still, not so bad, eh?

This is my local water now, my drinking hole, I’m so excited about the summer – just need to decide on which bathers to purchase.

Cheap as Chips:

The free fireworks are even cheaper from my bedroom window, I just wish a hadn’t spent so much on a camera with so much zoom capability.

The story can only end as it starts:

Under and out.

Previosuly, on WithWood

I’ve been away so long, not sure about sitting here and recalling all of my adventures, I don’t have the time or the memory capacity.

Forwards, not backwards, sometimes sideways, but not often. So, instead of letting you all in on the past few weeks WithOutWood, I thought I would just delve deep into my phone and show you what we achieved.

Here we go…

Hay-fever

A WithWood special – but for now summer has been and gone, time to replace my summer sneezes with festival flu.

Festival Furore

I forgot that the festival was happening so soon and left it too late to buy the cheaper tickets, I’ve already started to become annoyed by tourists – which is a great sign of me finally being a Scottish.

Sculpture

My housemate got play-doh for his birthday, I couldn’t help but rekindle my love for Henry Moore.

The phallus was later thrown against the living room wall, in years to come people will wonder why there is a green stain in our flat, they’ll never guess! Unless they are you.

Meat

The local curry house seemed to have some of the strangest meat in their bins…

I don’t search all bins, just interesting ones, the smell from the restaurant was amazing, but the screams from the kitchen were a little over the top.

Music

Polish DJs are amazing, but I was slightly dissapointed by the foam party only lasting one hour.

Rested

Another speciality, my feet settled in to the new flat pretty quickly, although my hands are a different story altogether.

So that’s my life in a pistachio nut shell, I think we’re all up to speed now. Soon I can update you on my new pet, my new pub, my new friend and my new shoes. Excited? I doubt it.

Wood

WithWood Back to Business

Glued my glasses.

Packed my suitcases.

Moved further into Leith.

Took a photo.

Waited for the internet.

Got the internet.

It’s going to take so long to update you and even longer to catch up on other people’s blogs.

Better get started.

My new home

A Sad Day….

I thought I had dreamt it, but when I woke up in the morning I found out it was real.

This is not something I can afford right now, I can no longer afford to see.

A Spring Clean

I’ve had numerous complaints regarding the number of categories I had (over 30 yesterday), so to ensure happy navigation for my readers – I had a little tidy. I know, I know, how can a man think of such a thing when the exam is so close? In answer to your question, procrastination, one of my key skills.

I do have some bad news though, this may result in some older posts becoming harder to find.  I doubt it will be much of a problem since most of my readers print off each post and carry them in the official WithWood binder that I gave  away free with my very first entry (these are now on sale for the others who feel they missed out).

One final modification was the addition of Poetry Corner. We felt that it was about time that our Poet Laureate, Ash Williams, got the recognition he/she deserved.