Waters of Grief

My walk to work is often fairly rushed and my focus is mostly a forward one with no time to take into account any potential floorward obstacles. This has recently become more difficult and has spurred me on to start blogging off again, for more information, please read on:

I’m considering taking the route against the roads rather than river due to the exponentially increasing amount of pavement pitfalls. Dog toffee is on the up, you’ll need to keep your eyes to the ground and adopt some fancy footwork to ensure shoes remain as shiny as the day they were born.

Leith has always had a dog refuse problem (as mentioned in almost every post I blogged off), which is down mostly to the following:

1. Dogs being taken on ‘walks’
2. Poor parental advice to dog owners
3. People’s inherent dislike to scraping up dog faeces and storing it in their handbag/knapsack
4. Few ‘no fouling’ signs or dog toffee bins
5. Lazy and uncouth individuals running amuck

To make matters worse, Autumn and Winter are upon us (technically the same season now in Scotland due to an out of control marketing campaign) . As you all know, changes in season result in new trends all round, not to be left out the trees of Leith have adopted a whole new style and are now sporting a far more clean cut look.

You would be surprised by how similar doggy dumps and dead leaves can look, uncanny-resemblance is a phrase that springs to mind.

So picture this, you’re meandering to work in the style of Speedy Gonzales, dodging leaves and excrement as if you are playing a more dangerous version of minesweeper whilst being unable to admire the great bunch of swans creating a visual masterpiece to your left. It’s bad enough at this level, but sometimes it’s cranked up a notch, you’ll have cyclists approaching from all angles and real live dogs creating said disasters right in front of you.

This is where I slow down and step in.

I always vowed to capture the criminals in the act and today I did.

It’s blurry due to the slight jog I had to develop to catch up, this resulted in the culprit slowing down to allow me to pass by and a smudged photograph. It’s only fair that the dog is blurred out, after all, he/she is likely to be a minor in human years, I’ll need to create a photofit of the lady based entirely on assumptions (Leith’s most wanted to be created in due course).

So, do you recognise this girl? She carries an inherent disregard for footpaths/footwear and walks in a fairly common manner (forwards).

As of yet, there is no hotline to call, but there will be, I’m going to clean up Leith one dog-owner at a time.

I will shortly be writing to my local councillor to see what can be done and will attempt to get the backing of http://www.greenerleith.org/

T-shirts will shortly be available with the slogan:

“No fucking faecal footpaths (at all)!”

I can, and will, capture more canine criminals in the upcoming months, I urge you to do the same (please submit them to the usual address in the contacts section).

On a side note, you may (or may not) wonder where I have been for the past few months. The answers will be presented to you via the art of the blog over the next 5 years, yes that’s right, withwood is now part of my 5 year plan.

Over and out, for now.

This blog was brought to you by the album Intimacy (Bloc Party) and the number 26.