What Credit Crunch?

Time to get topical…

Tried to get new credit card.

Got one.

Easy.

I see no trouble ahead.

I urge you all to invest in credit cards, my financial advice is nothing but sound, get at least three.

Once you do, buy the following albums:

Van She – V

Ladyhawke – Ladyhawke

Bags for Wife

Yesterday was my shopping day.

These days I visit the biggest Scot-Mid in Edinburgh (Leith) for all my necessary items (although I have been known to visit Lidl for deals on suspicious foods, such as an octopus in a jar)

It’s a BIG Scot-Mid, easy enough to lose yourself in, it took quite some time to gather my meats, vege and sauces, but was well worth it.

The Indian lady who served me was exited to see a wide array of curry ingredients coming towards her on the conveyor belt, she soon put her enquiring mind into action – are you making a curry? What kind of curry would it be? What meat would it contain? Who would it be for? Would it be for my wife?

WithWife?

Me?

Surely not!

We discussed the possibility of the checkout lady attending my meal and then another lady in the queue soon enquired about attending. I knew neither really wanted to come, just a kind attempt to provide some comfort to a lonely single young man. This three-way-role-play was quite fun, until they starting asking for my address, I’ll just make sure I double lock the door from now on.

After discussions about my relationship status, I was told I would have to pay for my bags.

This may be company policy in Lidl, we all know that’s how they make their money, luring you in with cheap beans and then forcing you to buy a bag or carry 26 cans in your pocket.

I had already bought too much for my pocket, so opted for two 10p bags for life instead.

I realise these have the added benefit of saving the environment because people are more likely to re-use the bags they pay for, but this would require me to carry them everywhere just-in-case.

The old free bags got so much more re-use in my house, in small bins, storing socks, carrying rubbish from living room to kitchen, making ad-hoc swimming trunks or doubling up as handy rain garments.

These bags for life will get no such use, so far I store them in a secret cupboard, ready for the day when I’ll need a robust bag. Surely this is so much worse, I’ll have thousands soon, not willing to use them, not willing to give them back.

What a dilemma.

I bet my wife would know what to do with them.

Get Sky (we can all be rich)

Say we are friends to Sky (which we are) subscribe, we both get £50.

Repeat this process with everybody in the world.

I won’t go hungry ever again.

Deal?

Keep an Eye Out

As a member of the neighbourhood watch scheme, my housemates and I take shifts staring across the hall.

Not a great deal happens, but I’m fairly certain it’s our careful watch keeping us safe.

Friday’s Shoes

They sit there patiently, watching me study, waiting for the weekend. It’s not long to go now my friends, not long at all.

Procrastination

When study gets a bit dull, the outside becomes increasingly more interesting.

Thirsty?

Best Looking Pube in Town

Indilectro

A good reason to start your weekend one day early.

Any Old Rope

Old rope with tiny skulls keeping it warm.