A free Christmas pie with every baguette! William and I were overwhelmed by Greggs’ Christmas spirit, which resulted in many repeat visits.
© Standinaqueue 2006
Until one day one of the Greggettes did not give me my free Christmas pie, I couldn’t ask for it because there were too many people listening to my order. Don’t make her walk back to the sweet section, don’t hold up the queue, don’t make a fuss in Leith, don’t want people to know that the only reason I wanted a baguette from Gregg was because there was a free gift. It was a good baguette, but I needed a pie.
The next day I thought I would give Gregg one more chance, upon my arrival I noticed the sign had gone. It was barely even November and the free Christmas pie was no more. Then I saw it.
The free pie offer was a cunning scheme - how dare you Gregg. Like a drug dealer giving free heroin with every baguette, Gregg was trying to get us hooked and then sell them once we needed our fix. Luckily I only had a total of two this month, so I am classed as a recreational user. I look back on the day the Greggette forgot my pie. How lucky I was.
No I don’t. Not now, not ever.
Where then? Where to eat???
Gregg’s older Scottish brother - Derrick. My new one stop shop for sandwiches, no meal deals, no free pies, just low low prices and a very simple selection.
The prices were a little strange at first, a pork roll was 55 or 80 with salad. 55 what? The Derrickette asked for 80 pences (I opted for salad). Unbelievable, Derricks Takeaway has been untouched by the knife of inflation and spread with the butter of value.
With this kind of a saving I can buy my Christmas Pies from Marks and Spencers and still have money left for a twix’tra.
Tomorrow I will eat two sandwiches.
November 22, 2006 at 6:41 pm
Gary Wood. That is some of the most beautiful writing I have seen.
Of course you have chosen my favourite subject matter, Greggs, and so I am little biased, however it is your comment about Derricks Takeaway which deserves some kind of literature prize.
Lets give it the Somerset Maugham Award.
The knife and butter analogy is truly original and well crafted.
BTW, how did you manage to snap the Got to Get to Greggs till, I’ve been trying to do that for months and am immensely jealous.
November 22, 2006 at 6:58 pm
Thanks williamdeed.
I am excited about the award, when do I get it?
Today i had two sandwiches and documented the queue. Perhaps you would like the details?
Gary Wood
November 22, 2006 at 9:43 pm
Yes, yes, send it over!
You never contributed to International Standinaqueue Day. Hooray.
November 22, 2006 at 10:42 pm
I made Leila queue over and over and over and over.
You are right though, I did not physically queue.
November 22, 2006 at 11:04 pm
You’re up.
November 22, 2006 at 11:34 pm
Thanks WilliamDeed, you work very quickly.
November 26, 2006 at 10:21 pm
[...] Gary Wood does a spot of investigative journalism and discovers Greggs’ insidious scheme for world domination. Forunately, he was able to do so without becoming entangled in the murky world of habitual mince pie consumption. A lucky escape, methinks. [...]
November 28, 2006 at 7:29 pm
[...] “A sandwich should never be eaten on foot” The Earl of Sandwich Luckily the Leith council knew about this and provided the residents with a plethora of seats. As well as the standard benches designed for four, Leith also provides seats for the solitary - ideal when you want to eat your sandwich in peace. [...]
December 6, 2006 at 9:22 pm
Mr Wood,
You, like us, seem to have a healthy interest in your local leith shops. You and your readers may therefore be interested in our Shop Local, Shop Smart campaign. See http://www.greenerleith.squarespace.com for more info. Surely you could do with a nice re-usable cotton bag to carry your pies in?
December 6, 2006 at 11:40 pm
I’m trying to cut down on my mince pie consumption, I feel a bag to carry the pies would only encourage me to eat more of them.
I would like to see a cleaner Leith. Does your campaign extend from the green areas to the streets? I have noticed that there is too much dog fouling occurring on Junction street.
January 22, 2007 at 8:40 pm
i love that wood!
January 22, 2007 at 8:44 pm
Which Wood? the Gary Wood?
Are you the same furniture promoter from standinaqueue?
January 22, 2007 at 8:53 pm
She showed up as Shelly on standinaqueue as well.
Tell me Gary Wood, what is the point in this type of spamming?
January 23, 2007 at 6:53 pm
I wouldn’t mind, but their site is shite.