Royal Mail Sorting Office

The last tour bus I was on drove straight past the sorting office and down to the ocean terminal. I soon sorted this out by visiting the office on foot.

It is worth it! The Sorting Office has a collection of post box decorations from every era. Don’t be tempted to pinch any of the paraphernalia, security is tight and replicas are reasonably priced in the gift shop. Don’t go on a Saturday though, the queue is always very long. Bloody tourists.

The fourth most common question I get asked as an Edinburgh resident is:

“Why does the royal mail sorting office on Brunswick road, just off Leith walk near the Tesco metro, have three huge red chimneys?”

Some people have suggested that the chimneys are red to match the royal mail, whilst others argue that the royal mail chose to be red as to match the chimneys. Well, you always get the the truth with wood, so let me begin.

The factory used to produce large quantities of lipstick, until demand dropped during the recession and the company went under. The Royal Mail moved to Edinburgh and fell in love with the factory, this was largely due to the fact that the chimneys looked like three elongated post boxes, that the chimney’s represented three dots from above.

I realise the majority of you already made the Morse code connection when you saw the photo. But, for those who did not:

dot dot dot = ‘S’

dash dash dash = “O” (the dashes are written on the roof)

Sorting Office

I have written a letter to the Tour Bus company stressing the importance of the Sorting Office. The Royal Mail’s fate is in its own hands now.

Take a Seat

“A sandwich should never be eaten on foot” The Earl of Sandwich

Luckily the Leith council knew about this and provided the residents with a plethora of seats. As well as the standard benches designed for four, Leith also provides seats for the solitary – ideal when you want to eat your sandwich in peace.

There’s nothing worse than someone sitting next to you, your chicken club sandwich and sausage roll. Not only do you have to attempt to eat quietly but you also have to endure small talk with your newly acquired company. They usually open with a statement about the how nice it is to sit down, but they always have the same intention, they’ll want to know more about the sandwich. Where did you get it? How much did it cost? Can I have the cucumber you took out?

This is where seats made for one come in handy, here are three of my personal favourites:

1. The Iron Man Bench

When sitting on this bench you are able to give the impression of actually having company, which is perfect when trying to discourage unwanted visitors.

2. Fish-Boat-Seat

As well as being a popular tourist attraction the fish-boat…

… is also a very cosy seat. More of a throne than a seat.

3. Office Nature Chair

And for those who like nature and the an ability to spin:

The Earl of Sandwich was right – luckliy in Leith nobody has to worry.

Leith Gents

Jimmy L has taken an iconic image and interfered with it.

Converting something we all know and love into something only some of us know and love. A quintessentially English image has been manipulated into a emblematically Scottish one – thus transforming the gents into a haven for the Kilted.

A genuine dichotomy of sorts that is only enhanced by the vibrant use of colour.

“Hilarious, thought provoking, sick, intense, controversial and compelling” Damien Rice

Got To Get To Derricks.

A free Christmas pie with every baguette! William and I were overwhelmed by Greggs’ Christmas spirit, which resulted in many repeat visits.

© Standinaqueue 2006

Until one day one of the Greggettes did not give me my free Christmas pie, I couldn’t ask for it because there were too many people listening to my order. Don’t make her walk back to the sweet section, don’t hold up the queue, don’t make a fuss in Leith, don’t want people to know that the only reason I wanted a baguette from Gregg was because there was a free gift. It was a good baguette, but I needed a pie.

The next day I thought I would give Gregg one more chance, upon my arrival I noticed the sign had gone. It was barely even November and the free Christmas pie was no more. Then I saw it.

The free pie offer was a cunning scheme – how dare you Gregg. Like a drug dealer giving free heroin with every baguette, Gregg was trying to get us hooked and then sell them once we needed our fix. Luckily I only had a total of two this month, so I am classed as a recreational user. I look back on the day the Greggette forgot my pie. How lucky I was.

No I don’t. Not now, not ever.

Where then? Where to eat???

Gregg’s older Scottish brother – Derrick. My new one stop shop for sandwiches, no meal deals, no free pies, just low low prices and a very simple selection.

The prices were a little strange at first, a pork roll was 55 or 80 with salad. 55 what? The Derrickette asked for 80 pences (I opted for salad). Unbelievable, Derricks Takeaway has been untouched by the knife of inflation and spread with the butter of value.

With this kind of a saving I can buy my Christmas Pies from Marks and Spencers and still have money left for a twix’tra.

Tomorrow I will eat two sandwiches.

HOT DOG!

Leith really does have it all.

Ocean Terminal II

On a rainy day like today Junction street offers little protection, so instead I venture to the terminal with the aim of exploration.

Moments into my journey I meet a celebrity shopper, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (father of Brum). He was a bit of an arse to be honest, he wouldn’t give me an autograpgh – think he was a bit drunk.

I was disappointed so looked for further enjoyment.

I found it in the form of a a restaurant specialising in cans of Baxters soup. I selected Scotch broth and a straw to takeaway and stood over the ocean.

Ocean terminal – prés de l’ocean.

I enjoyed the terminal much more on the higher levels, I think I will visit again.

Water Under the Bridge

One of the few remaining rivers in Edinburgh.

Thornton’s Dog Toffee

My lunch today was made more energetic than it had to be.

The vast amount of dog toffee meant I had to hop, skip and jump my way to the sandwich shop.

“Leith has a higher DTpm² than anywhere else in Edinburgh”

Ewan Mcgregor

Ewan was right, it is quite a problem. I plan to do something about it, would you like to help?

My worries soon washed away as it started to rain and the toffee began to melt.

A paper and a sandwich was my lunchtime plan, not too difficult one may think. I thought I would tackle the issue of the paper to begin with.

The first newsagents I went to only sold tabloids and looked at me very strangely when I asked for the Guardian, I already had a free metro I decided against buying what was on offer. I was sure that the second NEWS store would to be able to help me.

But on closer inspection I soon realised that the NEWS shop could not help.
Instead of selling ‘the news’ the shop had something much more exciting.

Bags and Dolls. I gave up on the NEWS and made a move towards my sandwich shop. I selected Popeye’s Sandwich Bar directly opposite Greggs (sorry will).

I was shocked to find no Spinach Sandwiches and upset to hear Popeye was away for the weekend.

“I’m strong to the finish cos I eat my Chicken Tikka with Salad Sandwich“doesn’t really have the same effect – but it was very tasty.

I saved money by not buying the paper, so decided to get a Twix instead. Much tastier than a paper and the packaging was quite interesting to read.

On my way back the road impressed me yet again, I found out that as well as a meat heaven there is also

I noticed that as well as being a Fruiterer, Fruit Heaven was also a newsagents. I bet they had the Guardian.

My Twix’xtra wasn’t as appealing once I realised how much it looked like the dog toffees from earlier.

Still ate it though.

Up The Junction…

Instead of having my lunch at The Ocean Terminal, I have recently been eating in Leith’s central business district. And what a CBD it is!

Today I explored Great Junction Street (previously known as Junction Street).

(Junction Street 1971)

This street has so much to offer I can see why it was renamed. The shops were clearly established when RonSeal was at its peak when people demanded no-nonsense labels and signs.

Don’t forget to visit Krazy Kardz Korner if you ever want to buy cards for birthdays, christmas days or standinaqueue days.

I’m not sure it was necessary to name it ‘krazy kardz korner’ instead of ‘crazy cards corner’? Both have the power of alliteration on their side, but I prefer not to buy my cards from the KKK (way too pricey). One day I will take you all in to see just how Krazy the Kard Korner is.

Like to eat meat? Of course you do, then look no further than Meat Heavan:

By the time I got to MeatHeaven all the bits of animal were sold, with nothing but eggs on offer.

Leith also has a plethora of clothing stores, instyle and lookin’ trendy are two of my personal favourtites.

Or why not make your own clothes, stop in at Barnes Discount Textiles and the Scissors Shop.

It really is a Great Junction, so much variety… so why then do I always seem to end up in Greggs for lunch? I’ll tell you why – free christmas pie.

Leila’s Meat Free Burger

I have been inundated with e-mails about Leila’s meat free burger.

Well here it is:

We didn’t keep the burger, it is an old photo – in today’s modern world everything is documented.